by AJ Black
A friend of mine asked a favor a couple of days ago. It’s for a testimony or referral that people put on CV or online professional resume. On the surface, it seems harmless. Since we got acquainted professionally first, then become friends, I find it hard to put it in words. Will my professional statement give weight to her credibility, or will my personal attachment sound bias to the prospective employers?
To make matter ‘unbalance’, it’s for a ‘she’ from me.
While looking for the correct words to describe her work ethics, it got me to think that woman seems to be associated with non-assertive adjectives. Adorable, patient, hardworking, honesty … don’t get me wrong. This is all good traits. Compare this with a go-getter, work smart or prioritization and persuasive. I know women have gone to the next level, climbing corporate ladders or become leaders. But still, the gender stereotype in describing work ethics will put back woman to either passive, non-assertive or dumb. The latter will normally be associated with looks. The same reason why a lady boss is described as nagging and a male boss is complaining. Don’t worry, women do this to other women too. The intention has no merit in sentencing this label.
While remembering the International Women’s Day on the 8th of March, I looked it up and found that it is also known as the United Nations (UN) Day for Women's Rights and International Peace. Ah! This is a good one, women and peace. It’s women’s right and international peace! While women have inherent rights as an equal as all the Almighty’s creature, peace is the state we are born with, lost in progress of establishment and currently lost in translation. It’s like you’d focus on the nag, but not the message, focus on the anger and not the reason. Right back at ya!
Coming back on my testimony writing, I also realized that I could not take out all the feminine description either. She’s a smart lady, yes. Firm and assertive, a team player. Meticulous? What? I just told you she’s a lady. That’s her personality. And at the same time very passionate and caring. So if I have to draw her as a comic character, she’d be wearing her Oxford caps, maybe in high heels (they said it shows power), and at the same time, she’d be stopping to help any colleague in a dire state. I haven’t added her other traits that I’m aware of, that she can laugh hysterically, not your usual “in controlled environment” kind of small and polite school girl shy giggles. She can also hustle any male chauvinist as and when required, and then ask me out to check on a new place to hang out and check on girls (well their shoes of course!). That doesn’t go well with the Missy Perfect that I just drew. Scrap that!
My point is, it is sometimes hard to describe women. Even more when she is someone you know. My best advice is getting to know her will help you to appreciate the relationship even more.
To my dear friend, the testimony that you are looking for will describe you as you are. The honesty, the passion, and the courage. I don’t have to look for extravagant words that will make you perfect, but enough to show that you are capable to learn from your mistakes. Your track records will show your perseverance. The number of projects that you’ve handled will show that you are capable, not a yes-man. Your results are either a cost saving or soul saving, you’ve helped the company and at the same time rescued everyone’s asses that has been sitting on that job because they care less. That’s what team player means to you. The bosses noticed this too, that’s why he didn’t complain when you took 3 hours lunch break with me, well occasionally.
I promise it will be perfect.